So today was a little laid back. I took the morning off work, and slept for most of it. I'm not sure why I feel so out of things but I do. I have found myself really missing playing aggressive music. I watched "School of Rock" tonight with some friends. This may sound lame, but it motivated me to start playing music more my style again. I miss playing at the local clubs, and feeling so energized. I last played a show in October. To Long ago if you ask me. I have been writing a lot of music, but not something that I could really use with the band. I guess I'm not pissed off enough. I think if I can play on my electric tomorrow, and be ignored by a stupid girl again, (Karissa) it would help.
I listened to one of my favorite songs today from Our Lady Peace:
***
"Happiness & The Fish"
I confess
Everyone is overweight
And I'm obsessed
Talking is just masturbating
Without the mess
Addiction leaves you sad today & unimpressed
I can't remember all the names
Everyone you meet today
Is just so fucking vain
Bored again by happiness
All those friends I've (die) lost in there
I'm upset
Happiness is not a fish
That you can catch
Imagination can't resist
The laziness
That pins you down, get on your knees
Everyone you meet today
Is feeling useless & ashamed
***
"Everyone you meet today is just so fucking vain"
I couldn't put it any better. In the last few weeks I have made some friends that are exceptions to that line, but everyone else I have met fits right in.
I want to leave sometimes, move back to Colorado, or buy a one way ticket to New York, and try and survive. I know I can't do that. It would hurt to much to leave. I have so many loved ones here. If I left them I would wither away. My family might miss me, but I don't think I would miss them to much. Aubrey, Zack, and Dad excluded. I want to go somewhere where nobody knows me, and I can start fresh, and be someone interesting, someone that is desired.
I would have to leave my job, my band, my friends. These are so precious to me, but something is missing. I'm tired of trying to live up to someone's standards. I want to be me, and be loved for it.
To all my friends that are reading this know that I love you all! I'm just tired of the misfit feelings. Maybe that will be the name of my new song. Misfit Feelings
I listened to one of my favorite songs today from Our Lady Peace:
***
"Happiness & The Fish"
I confess
Everyone is overweight
And I'm obsessed
Talking is just masturbating
Without the mess
Addiction leaves you sad today & unimpressed
I can't remember all the names
Everyone you meet today
Is just so fucking vain
Bored again by happiness
All those friends I've (die) lost in there
I'm upset
Happiness is not a fish
That you can catch
Imagination can't resist
The laziness
That pins you down, get on your knees
Everyone you meet today
Is feeling useless & ashamed
***
"Everyone you meet today is just so fucking vain"
I couldn't put it any better. In the last few weeks I have made some friends that are exceptions to that line, but everyone else I have met fits right in.
I want to leave sometimes, move back to Colorado, or buy a one way ticket to New York, and try and survive. I know I can't do that. It would hurt to much to leave. I have so many loved ones here. If I left them I would wither away. My family might miss me, but I don't think I would miss them to much. Aubrey, Zack, and Dad excluded. I want to go somewhere where nobody knows me, and I can start fresh, and be someone interesting, someone that is desired.
I would have to leave my job, my band, my friends. These are so precious to me, but something is missing. I'm tired of trying to live up to someone's standards. I want to be me, and be loved for it.
To all my friends that are reading this know that I love you all! I'm just tired of the misfit feelings. Maybe that will be the name of my new song. Misfit Feelings
Can I borrow your OLP cd's? Me and my pirate self? ;)
I love you Kris! I don't know if you know how great of a guy you are, but even though I haven't known you for too very long, I think incredibly highly of you. I hope you realize that if you leave, you'd have to take me with you, because you're freaking amazing and this silly young'n would miss you so much. Remember I'm always here with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, whenever you want or need one.
I like that song. I listened to it on Rhapsody, which is a great service for 33-cents/day. Lots of streaming music to listen to.
I'd miss you, too, bro, but you gotta do what you gotta do. At the same time, I'd make sure I had a job and a place to stay before moving anywhere else. Do you have relatives "back East"--as if Colorado counts as "back East"!! He, he, he.