I think it's only fitting that I mark the end of a sad time in my life with a change. This will be my last post on this blog. I have loved sharing my thoughts with you here at blogger, but I'm tired of the limitations. I have switched my domain notemoenough.com to be my personal blog. I invite all who have read this blog to make the changes in your Bookmarks, Favorites, Google Homepage, or RSS readers to the new location. The new blog is totally cool, and is run by WordPress, which is a blog content manager. This is an awesome tool, and I look forward to the cool things I should be able to do with it. Not to mention my own host where I can share a few things more frequently. Please visit and tell me what you think of the new blog.
Now on to why the sad time in my life is now over. It sort of goes back a long way, but I'll try and spare you the boredom, and keep it brief. I have always struggled spiritually in my life. Partially because I don't think I was ever truly converted in what I believed, and I was too curious about a few things that I traded my soul for them. I have come close so many times to feeling like I understood and could do the things I know are right. I know from personal experience that doing the things you know are wrong only make you upset with yourself. When I knew that what I was doing was against all I had believed and hoped for, I thought I was worthless. I thought I was a loser. As most of you have read and know I let that self shame bleed into my entire life. I would just want to sit around feeling sorry and not really make any changes, then I would complain that the changes aren't coming. You know, dear reader, how it is. I'm positive every human being on the planet had done that. Letting this go on for so long has cost me so much. A failed engagement, my self esteem, potential friends and some serious relationships. I never wanted to believe that my spirituality would save me if I had that all sorted out. In February 2003 I was put on probation by my bishop in my singles ward. He counseled me to do the things I knew I should have always done. He also counseled me to do a few things that I didn't want to do, like break up with my girlfriend. I resented his words for that, and my pride carried me for 3 years. I would try and get back in touch with my spiritual side, but I would only give it a half effort. I never immersed myself. I blamed everyone but myself for my misery. Those that read this that I blamed, I am sorry. Please find it in your heart to forgive me for my arrogance. I realized a few months ago with the help of an LDS counselor that I didn't have control over anything in my life. Without having control over the things I should the things that I couldn't control were eating me up. I decided to go back to church again. This time I was living in Colorado. I also decided that I wasn't going to try. I was going to do it. I want all my readers to know that once you decide to make a change in your life it really doesn't take long unless you don't give it your all. I gave it my all, and as of Thursday I have been fully reinstated to the LDS Church, that's almost 4 years since I was put on probation. I needed this so badly, a boost of confidence in myself. Everything has really taken off too. I'm making friends left and right, and I'll be going to the Temple for my birthday as I hoped . I'm so excited I'm about to burst. This one thing that most people don't think is a big deal has completely turned my life around. I'm not saying spirituality is what will make everyone happy, but I don't think it would hurt. Anyway, I don't know how to really get it out without getting too spiritual. Check out the new blog please, cause this will be the last entry made on this blog.
Now on to why the sad time in my life is now over. It sort of goes back a long way, but I'll try and spare you the boredom, and keep it brief. I have always struggled spiritually in my life. Partially because I don't think I was ever truly converted in what I believed, and I was too curious about a few things that I traded my soul for them. I have come close so many times to feeling like I understood and could do the things I know are right. I know from personal experience that doing the things you know are wrong only make you upset with yourself. When I knew that what I was doing was against all I had believed and hoped for, I thought I was worthless. I thought I was a loser. As most of you have read and know I let that self shame bleed into my entire life. I would just want to sit around feeling sorry and not really make any changes, then I would complain that the changes aren't coming. You know, dear reader, how it is. I'm positive every human being on the planet had done that. Letting this go on for so long has cost me so much. A failed engagement, my self esteem, potential friends and some serious relationships. I never wanted to believe that my spirituality would save me if I had that all sorted out. In February 2003 I was put on probation by my bishop in my singles ward. He counseled me to do the things I knew I should have always done. He also counseled me to do a few things that I didn't want to do, like break up with my girlfriend. I resented his words for that, and my pride carried me for 3 years. I would try and get back in touch with my spiritual side, but I would only give it a half effort. I never immersed myself. I blamed everyone but myself for my misery. Those that read this that I blamed, I am sorry. Please find it in your heart to forgive me for my arrogance. I realized a few months ago with the help of an LDS counselor that I didn't have control over anything in my life. Without having control over the things I should the things that I couldn't control were eating me up. I decided to go back to church again. This time I was living in Colorado. I also decided that I wasn't going to try. I was going to do it. I want all my readers to know that once you decide to make a change in your life it really doesn't take long unless you don't give it your all. I gave it my all, and as of Thursday I have been fully reinstated to the LDS Church, that's almost 4 years since I was put on probation. I needed this so badly, a boost of confidence in myself. Everything has really taken off too. I'm making friends left and right, and I'll be going to the Temple for my birthday as I hoped . I'm so excited I'm about to burst. This one thing that most people don't think is a big deal has completely turned my life around. I'm not saying spirituality is what will make everyone happy, but I don't think it would hurt. Anyway, I don't know how to really get it out without getting too spiritual. Check out the new blog please, cause this will be the last entry made on this blog.
