It's my turn to be listened to...
1 Comments Published by Kr5is on Sunday, August 07, 2005 at 2:11 AM.
So you can all just take what I have to say and let me talk for a bit. I don't have anyone to turn to, so here it is on the internet for random strangers, and some not so random 'strangers' to read. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm in an un-repairable place. This life is meaningless to me and I want out... No more pain, no more joy no more nothing. I don't want to be conscious... I don't want to feel... I'm tired of everything, and I need out. But I can't commit that sin. I need help and I don't know where to get it. My family can't and my friends wont/can't, or are to preoccupied with their selves to notice I'm drowning. I'm invisible, and I need to know why. I'm unloved and I need to know why. I'm ignored and I need to know why. I need to know the stuff that hurts. I need to know how I'm thought of, and I need to have it proven. I have nothing to show for 23 years of growing, learning, working, sinning, praying, existing. I don't see it getting any better... I have been used more that my fair share, and it is about damn time someone give me some attention. Someone genuine, and real, and who wants to know and help me know who I am. I wish I knew these things... Can I be loved, and appreciated like I deserve? Or am I one of God's 'Sweet Spirits'? Someone who will go through this life not being able to experience these blessings and joys that ever single one of my friends and family members will enjoy. I don't want to be the single man that everyone feels sorry for, and secretly wonder what's wrong with me, or if I ever experienced at least a taste of the things that they will certainly enjoy. How am I going to meet her? How am I going to find her? Who is she? Does she exist? Nothing tells me that she does. Even if she did, how would I know, or how would I have the chance? It's hopeless...
Kris,
I don't know if this would help, but there is a good song to go along with this:
As for Ms./Mrs. Right, she's out there. Right now, she is wondering the same things you are. As to your post, I was there. Six years ago. I was in despair. ... I was working at Fred Meyer and I asked a girl out. THAT accelerated my life into possibilities that I couldn't even imagine. All I could do was hang on tight. You will find a love that will blow your mind. If you don't, you have my expressed permission to kick my ass. :)
- Brandon Doyle
Boston - More Than A Feeling
I looked out this morning and the sun was gone
Turned on some music to start my day
I lost myself in a familiar song
I closed my eyes and I slipped away
It’s more than a feeling, when I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)
’till I see marianne walk away
I see my marianne walkin’ away
So many people have come and gone
Their faces fade as the years go by
Yet I still recall as I wander on
As clear as the sun in the summer sky
It’s more than a feeling, when I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)
’till I see marianne walk away
I see my marianne walkin’ away
When I’m tired and thinking cold
I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a girl I used to know
I closed my eyes and she slipped away
She slipped awa y. she slipped away.
It’s more than a feeling, when I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)
’till I see marianne walk away
I see my marianne walkin’ away