FU KRIS!
Man, what is wrong? What do I do to deserver this shit? I can handle huge things usually, but when they happen all at once, it sucks ass. On Saturday I had the oil changed in my car, no big deal, $80. They told me that I had a leak in my radiator. Upon closer inspection it was deturmined to be the manifold. So, I take Monday off work, (which I was glad to do cause I was able to go to Yelly's killer BBQ) and took my car to the shop. $400 later I have a new manifold, and sending unit for my temp guage. Everything is great. I'm stressing because I have to pay $275 for rent on this Saturday, but my dad said that he could help me. Everything is going okay. So since I stumbled through it on my own, the powers that be decided to throw up on my shoes again. My truck broke down again. I was very fortunate to have some loving friends help me get my truck to the shop, but how am I going to fix this? It is a good truck. Not worty to dump, might be to expensive to fix. I also have about $4,000 left to pay on it. What am I going to do? I hope the problem won't cost me money, maybe it is a shop error from the first time they worked on it, but I doubt it. I think it is my transmition, so $1,200 to fix. I need a car. I can't possibly not have a car. I tried to pray last night, but I was to frustrated and messed up to focus long enough. Nobody notices when I'm gone, nobody really cares when I'm there. I need to go on vacation. I need to find someone that can love me. I don't know why it's so hard. I have been thinking way to much lately about Sarah. Man I wish I could have made that work. I need some assurance that I will find someone that can feel for me like I feel for them.... I hate posting stuff like this. I feel like a whiner when I do this, but it's my blog, and I'll whine if I want to. I will try and post something more interesting later.
Man, what is wrong? What do I do to deserver this shit? I can handle huge things usually, but when they happen all at once, it sucks ass. On Saturday I had the oil changed in my car, no big deal, $80. They told me that I had a leak in my radiator. Upon closer inspection it was deturmined to be the manifold. So, I take Monday off work, (which I was glad to do cause I was able to go to Yelly's killer BBQ) and took my car to the shop. $400 later I have a new manifold, and sending unit for my temp guage. Everything is great. I'm stressing because I have to pay $275 for rent on this Saturday, but my dad said that he could help me. Everything is going okay. So since I stumbled through it on my own, the powers that be decided to throw up on my shoes again. My truck broke down again. I was very fortunate to have some loving friends help me get my truck to the shop, but how am I going to fix this? It is a good truck. Not worty to dump, might be to expensive to fix. I also have about $4,000 left to pay on it. What am I going to do? I hope the problem won't cost me money, maybe it is a shop error from the first time they worked on it, but I doubt it. I think it is my transmition, so $1,200 to fix. I need a car. I can't possibly not have a car. I tried to pray last night, but I was to frustrated and messed up to focus long enough. Nobody notices when I'm gone, nobody really cares when I'm there. I need to go on vacation. I need to find someone that can love me. I don't know why it's so hard. I have been thinking way to much lately about Sarah. Man I wish I could have made that work. I need some assurance that I will find someone that can feel for me like I feel for them.... I hate posting stuff like this. I feel like a whiner when I do this, but it's my blog, and I'll whine if I want to. I will try and post something more interesting later.
You've got a loving family that will always stand behind you. I for one would miss you if you were gone. I personally think that you don't come around enough.
I promise that one day (very far away from now) you'll look back and laugh at all the crap that's happening. I know, it sounds unbelievable, but it's true. God doesn't hate you. You are not yet as Job. Everything will get better.
BTW, don't give up on praying. I'm doing it for you.
Aubs