Kr5istofer's Thoughts

So Vegas was cool. I didn't loose more than 4 dollars cause I only played with 4 dollars. It wasn't bad at all. I got a lot of thinking done while driving home. I drove most the trip home since Luke had to teach in the morning. It was nice. I love listening to my music and thinking... Being me. I listened to a CD I bought last summer from a band called Brand New. I didn't appreciate it much then, but on this trip it hit me so hard. I don't think I was ready for that music than. The last post I put on here was a song from them. I found that my suspicions were right about a few things. The moment I heard it my walls went up. They aren't coming down like they usually do either. I hate protecting myself. I wish I could trust everyone.

Why do I get different answers from you? You of all I should trust most. I know I'm supposed to learn, I know I haven't been that faithful, but why have the answers in my heart been different from what you really have in mind? I will do whatever it takes, but I need to have some sort of stability in that area. I know I could have been wrong, but so many times? I trust the feeling in my heart, and I want to trust you. I know I need to trust you more, but it is hard when I feel misguided, or misled. I love you more and more each day, and I am grateful for your help, sacrifices, angels, and love. I will keep trying, but I don't know how much more faith I can have...

So yeah, that was a lot for me, I hope YOU, the reader, will understand. I don't feel like explaining. Sometimes I wish I was oblivious to my world, but I can't be.