I promise this is not another lyric post.
3 Comments Published by Kr5is on Monday, June 20, 2005 at 12:19 PM.
I just don't know what to say recently. I have been having an identity crisis of sorts. I have been okay on the most part, but the last 2 weeks have been hard for no apparent reason. I again don't know where I really belong right now. I'm sort of wandering around being a transient between my different circles of friends. I really hate that some of those groups have disappeared. I had my SCERA friends forever pretty much from 98 till 2003. They were my favorite people. The only part that sucks about that is when we started dating inside that circle of friends. Amber dated Joel, Debbie dated Talus, I dated Sarah, and Dave dated Britta. All of these relationships have ended. We are all still friends with the exception of the person that the other person dated. Amber, Debbie, Joel, and Sarah are all married now, which prevents us from always chilling. Dave lives in California and is in the Marines. Britta I think lives in Wyoming being a cowgirl. I haven't seen Ali in a long time. I hope she is well, and over her crush on me. (that was awkward) Michelle lives with her boyfriend in Salt Lake, Krista is around, she works as a dental hygienist. Lee is living in Louisiana, and is in the Air Force. I haven't seen Joel since he got married. He has chosen to leave the group, actually I think his wife chose for him. I miss these People. I want us all to come back and have a sort of reunion party, but I don't think some of us will be ready for that for a few more years. Debbie and her new husband James are freaking sweet and I love hanging out with them. I wish they didn't live an hour away. Maybe I'll move to Salt Lake, or Draper. Amber and Adam are really cool too. Adam is my ex's older brother. He and I are still very close and good friends. He calls me his brother still, and the tells me that he tells Sarah that she made a mistake by letting me go. I don't know how I feel about him saying that. I'm pretty much the only one still where I was. I don't work for SCERA anymore, but that is the only thing that is different. That's gay...
I created another circle around the time the previous one collapsed. I moved in with Rich, Mike and James. They are cool, I then moved in with them and Bryan, Dave, Little Mike, and Miles. That was our family. We always had something to do. We were happy for a while till Mike got Married, then Rich, and we all moved. Dave is now getting married. Little Mike and Miles moved to California. James pissed us all off, and Bryan is getting married too. Again I'm still the same, nothing has changed. That is gay...
So I create circle No. 3. Jenna, Danielle, and sometimes Jeff. This is a hard circle to join, because they have all been friends for a long time, and I'm the new one. They welcome me warmer than I have ever been welcomed before. But as time goes I can see this group disappearing as far as I am concerned. Other interests and other goals in life tend to take people in different directions. My goal is to go to school, and get married. That is all. I do want to move to Denver eventually, but that comes after school and a wife. So I am stuck here in this state with noting to show for my life's events for the last five years. I need to fix that... So I want to go to school. I will register with them in the next few weeks, and I will most likely take night courses. I hope this works out, and I don't get totally burned out. However I still need people around that I can relate with or feel needed to some extent. I hope to find another group as easily as I have found the last few.
I created another circle around the time the previous one collapsed. I moved in with Rich, Mike and James. They are cool, I then moved in with them and Bryan, Dave, Little Mike, and Miles. That was our family. We always had something to do. We were happy for a while till Mike got Married, then Rich, and we all moved. Dave is now getting married. Little Mike and Miles moved to California. James pissed us all off, and Bryan is getting married too. Again I'm still the same, nothing has changed. That is gay...
So I create circle No. 3. Jenna, Danielle, and sometimes Jeff. This is a hard circle to join, because they have all been friends for a long time, and I'm the new one. They welcome me warmer than I have ever been welcomed before. But as time goes I can see this group disappearing as far as I am concerned. Other interests and other goals in life tend to take people in different directions. My goal is to go to school, and get married. That is all. I do want to move to Denver eventually, but that comes after school and a wife. So I am stuck here in this state with noting to show for my life's events for the last five years. I need to fix that... So I want to go to school. I will register with them in the next few weeks, and I will most likely take night courses. I hope this works out, and I don't get totally burned out. However I still need people around that I can relate with or feel needed to some extent. I hope to find another group as easily as I have found the last few.
The only problem with your statement that this last group is disappearing around you is that it's actually disappearing out from under all of us. We're all going different directions now. It isn't that it's leaving you. It's leaving all of us. It's just that some of us notice it and feel it more than others. I miss that group and how it felt, but on the other hand, I'm so accustomed to losing people that, while it's never actually easy, I'm used to it enough that it doesn't effect me as much as it does other people. I hate it more than anything, but I can cope cause I've had to leave so many people in my life. Fortunately, some of them I've gotten to have back for at least a short time, but it's not going to last forever. But don't worry. It's not just you. :)
I don't know if that was supposed to make me feel better or not, but thanks for the comment.
I don't think this group has to dissapear, but to me it feels like i'm the only one that cares about the people I associate with. I remembers asking you and Danielle if we would be friends forever. I do want to be, but I don't want to be the only one fighting for it...
Love the "Buddy Jesus" pic!!
Anyhoo, I know exactly how that feels. At 28, I can't count how many times I've lost touch with my married friends. I mean, I try to keep in touch, but I really suck at calling people who never call me because they're usually busy elsewhere.
Right now, I would say I really like my "inner cirle" of friends. I just have one or two friends I hang out with a lot, but never many more than that.