Kr5istofer's Thoughts

So I have been thinking a lot the last few weeks about what to do with my life and I have decided that I need to move back to Utah. Tonight only confirmed it. I just signed a lease for an apartment and it will be until May next year. Just the perfect amount of time to get things in order and search for what I'm looking for. I came to the conclusion that I would move back and go to school full time, plus I will be able to see the people I love. But that's not the only thing... I have taken a step outside my bubble and looked at it from another light. Yes Utah is still Utah, but man I forgot how beautiful it is. Especially on warm summer nights like tonight. I could feel the air, and felt comfortable. In Colorado the air is the same, but the feeling isn't right. I got to see quite a few people that I haven't seen in a while, and it only made my connection more powerful. I miss the humid summer nights where I would roll the windows down and listen to music talking with a friend, I miss the feeling of having a crush on someone, or sharing something completely spiritual in a moment of silence with someone. The electricity of youth is in the air here, and I need to be a part of it. I have 365 days of vacation left. My lease is over one year from today, well, yesterday. I will have a lot of experience to go off of, and I will be ready for what ever God has in store for me. Some things just gel, and fit you. The youthful energy that is all over this place is for me. I want to be a part of it, and I want to affect it. As much as I like the big city of Denver it will just be a vacation place for me for the rest of my life. Maybe when I'm a rock star I'll buy a second home there, but I would rather have my home here. If I'm going to be independent, alone, or self sufficient then the UC is the place. I donno, maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and this feeling will be gone. I remember having cursed the hot summer days years ago, and how bland it all looks in the light of day, but at night this place becomes something else. That is why I always preferred sharing time with friends at night, and never much liked the daytime. Perhaps I see too much of it now that drive for work, and I'm not chained to a desk by a phone cable. I don't think I can explain to you what I feel and have any of you understand. But then again you really don't care, and will probably call me crazy or emotionally delusional. All I know is that for this moment I'm home.