Well it's been a while since I last updated, it time again for a big update. Let me just tell you how much better I feel about things lately. My attitude has changed a lot and I'm not letting things bother me. I'm not reaching out anymore, and I'm not depending on others for my personal happiness. Codependance is definately a curse. I think I'm almost free of it though, I have been spending a lot of time alone this week. My dad and I have started watching a mini series that I watched a few years ago called 'Taken'
It is really cool, I was excited when I managed to get a hold of a copy. As I thought, he liked it and it is something we can do together. It's fun to say the least. I went to Colorado for the Thanksgiving break, and I had such a good time. Jenna Holly, and I drove out on Wednesday, and we got to Parker CO at about 2AM. I got to go to Pueblo and have thanksgiving with My grandpa and his wife Marie. They got married in April, but I have not been able to spend time with that part of the family much since my Grandma died. While I was there my uncle Craig and I got to hang out and catch up. We used to be really close, and after this weekend I think we are cool again. I went to see his band play, which only made me want to write music and play again. They were cool, they area a cover band and they played at a Bar in Littleton called Stallions, it was a neat little place. I also got to spend some time with Cody and his family. I picked up a new camera too, it's my first very own camera and I like it. I managed to take a few pics of some of my family and friends while I was there:
This is Jodi and Jordan, my aunt and cousin.
This is my cousin Sydney
Jenna
Holly
Cody: The Man!
That is all the photo's I plan to post for now. Steve and McCall are having a party on Friday i'm planning on going to, after that apparently Steve has plans to start our music project up again. I'm excited. That is all I can think of today.
It is really cool, I was excited when I managed to get a hold of a copy. As I thought, he liked it and it is something we can do together. It's fun to say the least. I went to Colorado for the Thanksgiving break, and I had such a good time. Jenna Holly, and I drove out on Wednesday, and we got to Parker CO at about 2AM. I got to go to Pueblo and have thanksgiving with My grandpa and his wife Marie. They got married in April, but I have not been able to spend time with that part of the family much since my Grandma died. While I was there my uncle Craig and I got to hang out and catch up. We used to be really close, and after this weekend I think we are cool again. I went to see his band play, which only made me want to write music and play again. They were cool, they area a cover band and they played at a Bar in Littleton called Stallions, it was a neat little place. I also got to spend some time with Cody and his family. I picked up a new camera too, it's my first very own camera and I like it. I managed to take a few pics of some of my family and friends while I was there:
This is Jodi and Jordan, my aunt and cousin.
This is my cousin Sydney
Jenna
Holly
Cody: The Man!
That is all the photo's I plan to post for now. Steve and McCall are having a party on Friday i'm planning on going to, after that apparently Steve has plans to start our music project up again. I'm excited. That is all I can think of today.
So I don't remember what I said the last time I put something up here, but I hope it wasn't too weird. Last week was cool, I helped Rich and his Wife a lot with their computer. I got to spend some time with Rich cause everyone else was so busy. Steve got married on Saturday which was really nice. I didn't go to the ceremony, but I did catch him at the reception. They are so cool, Steve mentioned that he has been talking to people about out music again. He really wants to try again when he gets back from his honeymoon. That made me happy. I got to talk with Sam a bit. Bruce was there, I haven't seen him since he moved back to St. George. Moo was there too, it was like one huge reunion or get together, accept with a lot of people there too that nobody knew. After that I again was forced to change my plans and not go see Harry Potter like I was planning, but that is something I'm not going to talk about. Saturday I decided to go to St. George with my friend Kevin, who is in town from England. It was very much needed to get away from a few people, and be the one to make things not go as planned. I learned a lot about myself though, I reflected a lot on how I act and treat my friends. I'm being walked on by everyone, and I mean everyone. I'm not here to please people, and more importantly, I'm not here to be someones bitch. That is all I have been lately to my friends. Weather or not it's because I want to help, or I have some helpless crush, I'll let all these people make decisions for me, and let them craft my doom so to speak. Well I'm done. Submissive Kr5is is dead, and I'm going to be making a few of my own demands to these people. It's only fair after all the crap I have let them deal me. I don't think this was their problem, it was mine because I let on that that sort of social thing was okay. Anyway, while I was down there we went to a bon-fire and stayed up singing and chillin all night. I slept most of saturday then we wen't to eat and chilled around the city. I got home at about 2 on Monday morning just in time for work! Awesome!
I'm done griping, things are awesome. I'm going to Colorado tomorrow night and i can't wait for this vacation, It will be nice to see the other members of my family. Blah blah blah, I'll let this be for now.
I'm done griping, things are awesome. I'm going to Colorado tomorrow night and i can't wait for this vacation, It will be nice to see the other members of my family. Blah blah blah, I'll let this be for now.
It's about time to update I guess...
4 Comments Published by Kr5is on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 at 11:28 AM.
I feel so numb to everything lately that nothing really feels worth to mention on my blog. I went and saw 30 Seconds to Mars on Monday which was awesome, but I don't really have anything else to say about it. Everything keeps trudging forward weather or not I like it. Work is less busy, I still think I'll be fired in month, but I really don't care. I need a change, I would love to do one of my old jobs again, but I'm afraid it won't be as stable as I need it to be. Let me give you a low down on my financial situation. First, the bills!:
1) My Truck - I hate trucks, but I drive one, why? Because I screwed my credit history when I was 18 with a credit card.
2) My Insurance - This is the evil of our nation, but I do think it protects me in some crazy way.
3) My Phone - This has recently got a lot better. My bill should come down a bit from where it was, which will be nice.
4) Debt - I went in debt for school, and I'm still paying my sister for her gracious starting up loan. I also had to get some help from a friend with some money recently that I am trying to pay back.
5) Rent - Right now I live with Mom and Dad... How lame... I want to move out, but if I want to leave my job for something else I don't know that I can afford more.
6) Savings - I'm currently putting a lot of money into a savings type program each month. It is hard to put so much money away and not touch it. I'm barely enjoying my life because I want to put this money away.
Grand Total!:
Truck = $150
Phone = $55
Insurance = $80
Rent = $200
Internet = $20
Debt Payments = $200
Food = $150
Gas = $120
Savings = $200
---------------
Total = $1175 / Month
That is just to live, and have security. If I want to spend my money on concerts and everything else I need to do for personal sanity that is another 200 dollars. Plus I can't stand living with my parents right now. I need to move out as soon as I can, but I can't afford it. I need to find places to cut out. I could eat out less, but that would really only bring my food bill down to $80. I expect to have to pay $350 for a place to live in that I will be comfortable with. That is with roommates. I have been wanting to just get a studio or a place of my own, I can't live with roommates for the rest of my life. Since I'm not going to get married, I think I need to just start living my life the way it was supposed to be. Alone.
1) My Truck - I hate trucks, but I drive one, why? Because I screwed my credit history when I was 18 with a credit card.
2) My Insurance - This is the evil of our nation, but I do think it protects me in some crazy way.
3) My Phone - This has recently got a lot better. My bill should come down a bit from where it was, which will be nice.
4) Debt - I went in debt for school, and I'm still paying my sister for her gracious starting up loan. I also had to get some help from a friend with some money recently that I am trying to pay back.
5) Rent - Right now I live with Mom and Dad... How lame... I want to move out, but if I want to leave my job for something else I don't know that I can afford more.
6) Savings - I'm currently putting a lot of money into a savings type program each month. It is hard to put so much money away and not touch it. I'm barely enjoying my life because I want to put this money away.
Grand Total!:
Truck = $150
Phone = $55
Insurance = $80
Rent = $200
Internet = $20
Debt Payments = $200
Food = $150
Gas = $120
Savings = $200
---------------
Total = $1175 / Month
That is just to live, and have security. If I want to spend my money on concerts and everything else I need to do for personal sanity that is another 200 dollars. Plus I can't stand living with my parents right now. I need to move out as soon as I can, but I can't afford it. I need to find places to cut out. I could eat out less, but that would really only bring my food bill down to $80. I expect to have to pay $350 for a place to live in that I will be comfortable with. That is with roommates. I have been wanting to just get a studio or a place of my own, I can't live with roommates for the rest of my life. Since I'm not going to get married, I think I need to just start living my life the way it was supposed to be. Alone.
| This Is My Life, Rated | |
| Life: |  6.1 |
| Mind: | 6 |
| Body: |  7.1 |
| Spirit: |  5 |
| Friends/Family: | 5.6 |
| Love: |  0 |
| Finance: | 5.8 |
| Take the Rate My Life Quiz | |
Isn't it funny how the one thing you want is the one thing you don't have?...
So I don't own a camera, and I think I'm going to get myself one for Christmas, however I did get a new phone and it is decent enough to take some images on to post here, so here are a few pictures I took on my camera phone.
This is my nephew Cooper. He has just turned 3, and is so cool. He was a Care Bear for Halloween.
This is my other nephew Ethan. He is dressed up as Eeyore, this kid is awesome, and totally makes my day whenever I see him. This one likes me.
Last night Jenna and I hung out and talked. It was good to feel like things were cool again. We have both been having a hard time with a lot lately, but now I think for the most part she will be okay, and I will be okay. She has been through a lot more than I would ever wish upon anyone, this girl needs a break. I am going to Colorado for Thanksgiving, I hope to see my Grandpa, and his wife Marie I think... Is that sad? I want to build a relationship with that family. I never see them, and I want to start spending Holidays with them again. I don't think I'll move to Colorado either. I don't think it would be good for me. I would probably just end up becoming an alcoholic, and die in a gutter somewhere... maybe not that extreme, but I don't think it would be a good thing at this time. I do want to go back someday, just not this moment. Bryan and I have been really close in the last 2 weeks. I have seen him more since he has been married than in the entire year. I think he is reaching out to me, and to be honest I needed that from him or Rich. I miss the guys, and it is nice to have Bryan worried about me. I don't know... I guess things are lightening up a bit.
Here are some more random pics:
Me Being Stupid with my phone.
Jenna poking her eye out.
This is my nephew Cooper. He has just turned 3, and is so cool. He was a Care Bear for Halloween.
This is my other nephew Ethan. He is dressed up as Eeyore, this kid is awesome, and totally makes my day whenever I see him. This one likes me.
Last night Jenna and I hung out and talked. It was good to feel like things were cool again. We have both been having a hard time with a lot lately, but now I think for the most part she will be okay, and I will be okay. She has been through a lot more than I would ever wish upon anyone, this girl needs a break. I am going to Colorado for Thanksgiving, I hope to see my Grandpa, and his wife Marie I think... Is that sad? I want to build a relationship with that family. I never see them, and I want to start spending Holidays with them again. I don't think I'll move to Colorado either. I don't think it would be good for me. I would probably just end up becoming an alcoholic, and die in a gutter somewhere... maybe not that extreme, but I don't think it would be a good thing at this time. I do want to go back someday, just not this moment. Bryan and I have been really close in the last 2 weeks. I have seen him more since he has been married than in the entire year. I think he is reaching out to me, and to be honest I needed that from him or Rich. I miss the guys, and it is nice to have Bryan worried about me. I don't know... I guess things are lightening up a bit.
Here are some more random pics:
Me Being Stupid with my phone.
Jenna poking her eye out.
As long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart,
and there's no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends.
and there's no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends.
So I'm awesome! That is right, I'm the last surviving customary gentleman in the post Generation X world. I asked her out, and she was excited. I need to not be afraid of that anymore.
So, I've thinking about moving back to Colorado. I don't know if it has been some of my friends thinking about it, or if I'm just tired of being around all my married friends. Bryan and his new wife Katie invited me over for dinner, it was cool to see them in their apartment-in-progress, but it was awkward to be there. Just me and a Married couple, them asking me about my 'love life', saying, "We want to set you up with this girl, but we don't think you would like her." **INSERT SARCASTIC VOICE** WOW, that's a great idea! I'm so done with all this shit that's piled up on my plate, and I just need to leave. My music is all but dead, everyone around me is good as dead too. Ouch sorry to hurt you... Crap, maybe I'm too upset about the situation to see what is really happening. On another note, I'm trying to build up the courage to ask out this girl, but I'm a wuss. She is awesome, and it's not that I think I'll be rejected, it's just the initial uncomfortable embarrassment that I want to avoid. Once I actually start the conversation it's easy, and there is no way I could go wrong, but something is different. Whenever this girl is around I start to mumble and stutter. WTF? I'm such a geek, last night I couldn't even play my guitar right while she was around. How cliché, I'm a fool. So this dilemma was even in my dreams, I just need to do it, and tonight is the night.
