You scored as Republican.
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Well I'm not sure how to respond.
You Can take the test too if you like. Click Here It's weird.
FU KRIS!
Man, what is wrong? What do I do to deserver this shit? I can handle huge things usually, but when they happen all at once, it sucks ass. On Saturday I had the oil changed in my car, no big deal, $80. They told me that I had a leak in my radiator. Upon closer inspection it was deturmined to be the manifold. So, I take Monday off work, (which I was glad to do cause I was able to go to Yelly's killer BBQ) and took my car to the shop. $400 later I have a new manifold, and sending unit for my temp guage. Everything is great. I'm stressing because I have to pay $275 for rent on this Saturday, but my dad said that he could help me. Everything is going okay. So since I stumbled through it on my own, the powers that be decided to throw up on my shoes again. My truck broke down again. I was very fortunate to have some loving friends help me get my truck to the shop, but how am I going to fix this? It is a good truck. Not worty to dump, might be to expensive to fix. I also have about $4,000 left to pay on it. What am I going to do? I hope the problem won't cost me money, maybe it is a shop error from the first time they worked on it, but I doubt it. I think it is my transmition, so $1,200 to fix. I need a car. I can't possibly not have a car. I tried to pray last night, but I was to frustrated and messed up to focus long enough. Nobody notices when I'm gone, nobody really cares when I'm there. I need to go on vacation. I need to find someone that can love me. I don't know why it's so hard. I have been thinking way to much lately about Sarah. Man I wish I could have made that work. I need some assurance that I will find someone that can feel for me like I feel for them.... I hate posting stuff like this. I feel like a whiner when I do this, but it's my blog, and I'll whine if I want to. I will try and post something more interesting later.
Man, what is wrong? What do I do to deserver this shit? I can handle huge things usually, but when they happen all at once, it sucks ass. On Saturday I had the oil changed in my car, no big deal, $80. They told me that I had a leak in my radiator. Upon closer inspection it was deturmined to be the manifold. So, I take Monday off work, (which I was glad to do cause I was able to go to Yelly's killer BBQ) and took my car to the shop. $400 later I have a new manifold, and sending unit for my temp guage. Everything is great. I'm stressing because I have to pay $275 for rent on this Saturday, but my dad said that he could help me. Everything is going okay. So since I stumbled through it on my own, the powers that be decided to throw up on my shoes again. My truck broke down again. I was very fortunate to have some loving friends help me get my truck to the shop, but how am I going to fix this? It is a good truck. Not worty to dump, might be to expensive to fix. I also have about $4,000 left to pay on it. What am I going to do? I hope the problem won't cost me money, maybe it is a shop error from the first time they worked on it, but I doubt it. I think it is my transmition, so $1,200 to fix. I need a car. I can't possibly not have a car. I tried to pray last night, but I was to frustrated and messed up to focus long enough. Nobody notices when I'm gone, nobody really cares when I'm there. I need to go on vacation. I need to find someone that can love me. I don't know why it's so hard. I have been thinking way to much lately about Sarah. Man I wish I could have made that work. I need some assurance that I will find someone that can feel for me like I feel for them.... I hate posting stuff like this. I feel like a whiner when I do this, but it's my blog, and I'll whine if I want to. I will try and post something more interesting later.
"Everything You Want"
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
[Chorus]
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
[Chorus]
But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for
Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return
[Chorus]
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know
***
Okay so here is another song that speaks a lot about my life. The last verse especially. I don't think I want to comment on it anymore. If you really want my thoughts you can ask me.
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
[Chorus]
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
[Chorus]
But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for
Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return
[Chorus]
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know
***
Okay so here is another song that speaks a lot about my life. The last verse especially. I don't think I want to comment on it anymore. If you really want my thoughts you can ask me.
So I'm posting to please the Blog Gods. ***COUGHJENNACOUGH*** Actually I have been meaning to post for a while now. Not much happening right now in my life. Working, Breathing, dreaming of what I want to do with the rest of my life. I need to go to school. Work is going so well right now I'm afraid to leave my job for an education. I don't know how to pay for everything. I figured out my total bills just to live, and it costs $900 a month. I make about $1,300 a month. That does not include car repairs or paying debt. School is going to cost me $1,300 a semester. I can cover my school fees with grants, and loans, but If I don't have a full time job how will I live? If I do have a full time job how will I go to school? I know I have to go to school. I can't be exactly like my dad. I don't want to struggle with money for the rest of my life. I want to pay bills, but I also want to be comfortible in paying them. I'm trying to find a way to manage my time well enough to do school and work. If I could find a part time job that pays 800 a month I think I could handle it. I found a new place to live. It is going to be nice. I'll have my own room, and it already has the internet (A MUST FOR ME). I can't wait to move in. It's going to be expensive though. $275 for rent and then the utils are about $50 for me. It will be good for me though. I won't be living with my so called friends anymore. I feel like I'm just there to help them not be bored. If Katie is pissed at Bryan then he wants to hang out. When Rochelle is busy then Rich will act like my friend again. I can't be to upset at them though. Rich is getting married, and bryan works really weird hours. Steve might be getting married in about six months or so. So my band is going to dissapear. I'm sure Danielle and Jenna are going to dissapear in about a year or so, but for good reasons. I'm just sad that everyone is moving to something cool and exciting. I'm just me. I want to go somewhere too. It would be nice to succeed.
Wow what a day. I'm not sure what happened. It was really good, and now it sort of ended on a somber note. I have come to a point where I need to make some changes in my attitude towards God and my Religion. I have never doubted my beliefs, more like lost trust and faith in the involved people and principal. Why have I had to go through all these trials? Why are there some who casually walk through life, jumping the speed bumps in there way, and I have to climb the walls. I want it to come easy sometimes. My faith has been tested to the limits. I don't know how much more I can take. I need to turn around and head back. I'm so stubborn sometimes. A trait that I inherited from my dad. I want to feel the warmth cover my body when God is near. I want to find peace in my heart, for who I am and who I will be. Jenna really got me remembering my testimony, and the events that strengthened it. I remember the day that I was baptized. The actual baptism was really neat, and cool. But the whole thing that sticks out is when I was confirmed a member of the church and received the Holy Ghost. I could feel it enter my body from my dad's hands on my head, and then all the way to my toes. It was the so warm, and soothing. Sort of like when you cry for no reason and then feel so good. I remember few of the faces that were there. My dad, my non Mormon Grandparents, and my mom. It was so nice to have them there. How do I lose site of these places and experiences that guide me. I remembering Baptizing my brother Zack. That was so special to me. Zack and I will always be connected by that experience. I felt the spirit around me then, and I wish I could feel it now. It has been so long. I am numb. I can't feel anything but pain usually. The advisary has really done his job on me. How do I turn around? What can I expect? How long will it take? I'm not very patient when it comes to these kind of questions... Will I ever marry in the Temple? Will I ever succeed for more than 3 months? Will I be worthy to hug and be held by my savior when he returns? I really hope....
I love my job even more in the last few days. I started the new project at work and I think it is cool! I transfered to a department called High Tech. I support and fix issues for Dentist offices X-ray and digital imaging software. It is hella cool! They gave me internet access (which I'm using to post), and A lot of free room. They also trust me. I don't need permission for anything! The rules are a little more strict though, which is expected for such a small department. I think that it is a good trade off. I got a raise too! Work is going very well. The rest of me is still a little off, but I think it will be good in a while. I can feel something coming for me. I'm not sure what, but I know it's coming. Well enough for now. We'll see how I feel after I spend another night alone.
I Hate The Winter In Lexington (Orem)
1 Comments Published by Kr5is on Tuesday, February 08, 2005 at 1:31 AM.
This time of year just sucks. It's cold. It's wet. Nobody can hang out cause it's well spring... They are busy with their girlfriends... or whatever it is they may have. School is getting stressful for the rest of the semester, and I am just here. I got off work at 7:50 tonight, which means that I will leave at 4 on Friday. That will be nice. Work was really good today cause I was doing something new. This new program they have me working on is real hard, but I think I can handle it. It took me some getting used to today, but I think in about 3 weeks I will feel right at home. Speaking of "home", I'm going to Colorado soon! I know I have mentioned it here about a million times, but I can't wait. I miss that place so much. I really want to live the rest of my adult life there. I hope it is in the cards for me to have a family. I hope the person I marry will accept a semi-liberal conservative Colorado lifestyle. I want to have Denver Bronco season tickets every year. Sort of a tradition passed down from my grandma and grandpa. I can't wait for summer. I think I am going to do a summer theater season at the Shell here in town. It is an outdoor amphitheater. So cool for dates and make-outs... I mean... hang-outs. There is a lot on my mind, and I can't seem to get it out. Sorry. This is just another lame update of Kristofer's life. I think when I have the courage to paint my heart all over the walls of this blog it will become interesting.
Love to all!
Love to all!
I remember a lot of moments in my life. All of which I treasure. I don't think there is anything in my life that I would take back, or do over. I would say some things differently, but all the experiences I have are to much to loose. There are a lot of moments that stick out. They are usually the extremely good or the bad. I remember vividly my first Christmas. My first kiss. My first date. I remember the bad too, the day Sarah's blue eyes cried as she said that she was lying when she said that she loved me, and then threw the ring at me. The day my grandma died. The day my parents kicked me out. Then there are the memories that I don't know where to put. Like the day I lost my virginity, or the day I moved to Utah.
You know what my favorite feeling is? When your hears skips a beat because your current crush or loved one came in the room. The fear and the nervousness you feel on the surface of you face when you are about to kiss someone. I find myself dreaming of those feelings a lot lately. Not sure why they occur more than usual. I think my mask of being okay with where I am is finally wearing away. I hope I can stop putting this band-aid on and actually heal. I wish I could read minds. That would make my whole life easier. I'm so afraid to hurt someone or be rejected that I stay in my shell. Just when I am about to break free of my fear something pulls me back.
So much of who I am has been guided by these things. Most of my friends and I have a deep passion for music, and it seems like my life could have a sound track. When I look back at those things that stick out I always hear a song in my mind. Something like a Fox Network Teenage Drama. You know what I mean. I live for making these moments.
I bought a new CD this weekend. Garden State Sound Track. Holy Crap! What a good CD. Don't listen to it when you are sad though. I haven't had that happen, but if it does, I'm sure it would not be fun. A lot of acoustic stuff on it. There is one song that totally stuck out. It fits perfect. I can't let things go, and I will always be in love with Sarah, and Karissa, and other various close people. I can't let go of that as much as I try. This song reminds me of that.
***
Colin Hay - I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You
I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
I'm no longer moved to drink strong whisky
'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years
But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
If I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
***
That is all for now. I am nervous about work tomorrow. I start a new project, and it is going to be hard. But they pay me more!
You know what my favorite feeling is? When your hears skips a beat because your current crush or loved one came in the room. The fear and the nervousness you feel on the surface of you face when you are about to kiss someone. I find myself dreaming of those feelings a lot lately. Not sure why they occur more than usual. I think my mask of being okay with where I am is finally wearing away. I hope I can stop putting this band-aid on and actually heal. I wish I could read minds. That would make my whole life easier. I'm so afraid to hurt someone or be rejected that I stay in my shell. Just when I am about to break free of my fear something pulls me back.
So much of who I am has been guided by these things. Most of my friends and I have a deep passion for music, and it seems like my life could have a sound track. When I look back at those things that stick out I always hear a song in my mind. Something like a Fox Network Teenage Drama. You know what I mean. I live for making these moments.
I bought a new CD this weekend. Garden State Sound Track. Holy Crap! What a good CD. Don't listen to it when you are sad though. I haven't had that happen, but if it does, I'm sure it would not be fun. A lot of acoustic stuff on it. There is one song that totally stuck out. It fits perfect. I can't let things go, and I will always be in love with Sarah, and Karissa, and other various close people. I can't let go of that as much as I try. This song reminds me of that.
***
Colin Hay - I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You
I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
I'm no longer moved to drink strong whisky
'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years
But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
If I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
***
That is all for now. I am nervous about work tomorrow. I start a new project, and it is going to be hard. But they pay me more!
So I have added a Friend section to my blog. It is on the side bar. Most of the names there are my friends that I socialize with, but the last two are my Brother and Sister. They rock. You should check out the blogs in the friend section.
That is all...
That is all...
***
You'll Think of Me - Keith Urban
I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me
I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday
***
So this song came to mind today. I have had some friends have some very bad experiences lately, and they know who they are. Download this song. My favorite line is in bold. I hope everyone can one day realize that they were not the problem. It is hard not to blame yourself sometimes, but I think it is worth moving on. Finding something or someone completely new. Take a chance on life outside the comfort zone. I have so much love in my heart, and to quote a line from one of my favorite movies. "Sometimes I see so much beauty In the world that I can't take it." Whoever can guess it will have to be my new best friend. But it's true. Where would I be without the silent joys of life? I'll have to think about that. PLEASE post a comment if you have anything to say about this. To my friends, I love you. Stay who you are, unless you take me with you.
You'll Think of Me - Keith Urban
I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me
I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday
***
So this song came to mind today. I have had some friends have some very bad experiences lately, and they know who they are. Download this song. My favorite line is in bold. I hope everyone can one day realize that they were not the problem. It is hard not to blame yourself sometimes, but I think it is worth moving on. Finding something or someone completely new. Take a chance on life outside the comfort zone. I have so much love in my heart, and to quote a line from one of my favorite movies. "Sometimes I see so much beauty In the world that I can't take it." Whoever can guess it will have to be my new best friend. But it's true. Where would I be without the silent joys of life? I'll have to think about that. PLEASE post a comment if you have anything to say about this. To my friends, I love you. Stay who you are, unless you take me with you.
